Hold Me Tight
by katokatsu
Summary: SpainxFem!Romano; WWII era, post-Italian Armistice; established relationship. Lovina goes to visit Spain to check up on her old boss. Despite her efforts to act like everything is normal, Antonio can tell the war is still tearing her apart.


Originally written for meg_inatree for the 2010 SpainxRomano winter gift exchange at livejournal. : )

The prompt was: "WW2 era. Lovina goes to visit Antonio, to check up on her old boss, and despite trying to act like normal, Antonio can tell the war is tearing her apart. Scar touching and kissing would be nice, with headcanon saying that Antonio would have scars still healing from his own civil war while the Bombing of Naples would have left a lasting mark on Lovina."

enjoy!

* * *

_September, 1943_

Lovina let out a soft sigh as she stared out the window of the Fiat at the cool September sky of Madrid. She kept her posture as best as she could despite the sharp pain in her side every time she tried to sit up. She had to remain stoic—she was immeasurably grateful to the members of the _esercito_ that had so willingly volunteered to escort her to visit her former boss; she could not bring herself to show any signs of ingratitude. Not that she wanted to see that idiot bastard Antonio or anything, she just had to make sure that he hadn't done anything too stupid. Lovina forced herself to refrain from rolling her eyes at the possibilities.

When the driver pulled up several feet from Antonio's house, kicking up dust and prompting her escorts to drill her on safety precautions and her two-hour time limit, Lovina was sure to adjust the long sleeves of her uniform and toss dark auburn hair to cover her shoulder where a series of angry red scars stretched from her clavicle to her forearm. As a woman, the most she could do to help out during the war was bandage her troops, assist with supplies, and give them shelter. While she may have been spared from direct conflict on the battlefield, she nonetheless retained gashes and wounds as a result of the damage that was dealt to her people. Every death, every city burned, every shot fired tore through her like a hot knife.

But she endured it. She had to be strong for her people.

Lovina winced as she stepped out of the car, smiling reassuringly at her escorts who rushed to help her out of the vehicle. "I'm fine, I promise. I appreciate you for taking me this far, but I want to meet with _Signore_ Fernandez alone. Please understand."

Lovina hardly had enough time to finish her sentence when Antonio burst through his front door, the sound startling Lovina a bit more than usual. The echoes of war were taking a toll on her.

Antonio looked uncharacteristically stern for a moment, taking some time to register the visitors that had arrived. Lovina felt a pang as her eyes fell on the haphazard sling that Antonio's sloppily bandaged arm hung in. Guernica, no doubt. However, Antonio's expression changed in an instant upon recognizing Lovina, causing him to wave his arm madly in the air, effectively ruining his sling and unfurling his bandages as he shouted her name.

Lovina was already storming her way up to Antonio's doorstep, immediately losing her calm exterior faced with the stupidity that was her former boss. "Antonio, you stupid bastard! Get your ass inside, you're scaring the hell out of my soldiers with your weirdness!" she barked as she approached.

"Aww~ you came to check up on me? Lina's so sweet!" Antonio cooed, holding his arms out as wide as he could for a hug.

Lovina scowled, pushing him inside and slamming the door behind her. "Move it!" she shouted roughly, steering him to the living room, still so familiar with his enormous house.

Meanwhile, Lovina's escorts stood in somewhat shocked silence outside the Spaniard's home.

"It's so good to see _Signora_ Vargas acting like her old self again." One chuckled softly.

"_Si_." The driver smiled weakly. "It will be good for her to take a break like this. She has been working so hard for all of us."

Lovina shoved Antonio onto the sofa, standing before him with her hands on her hips. "_Stay._" She commanded, turning to make her way to the medicine cabinet.

She rifled through the contents, mumbling under her breath as she gathered materials to properly dress Antonio's arm. She gnawed on her bottom lip as she recalled centuries ago, when she would sneak into Antonio's room after he returned from yet another war to change his bandages. She would always fail to tiptoe into his room quietly. Cursed with a tendency to clumsiness, she would end up knocking over a table or tripping over the threshold on her way in without fail. Antonio would sit up and smile at her, always brushing his wounds off as nothing more than "tomato juice". _Honestly, what kind of dumbass excuse is that anyway_, Lovina groaned as she made her way back to the living room.

"Ehehe, Lina is my cute nurse again! Just like when you were little." Antonio laughed airily, holding his arm out obediently.

"Shut up or I'll break your other arm." Lovina warned, though her threat lacked its usual bite. Her voice was slightly hoarse from all of the shouting on the warfront, weary from insufficient rest.

Antonio watched her carefully with apprehensive green eyes. He wasn't the most perceptive man on the planet, and he knew it. But he could always tell when something was even the slightest bit off when it came to Lovina. He saw it in her eyes as she gently unraveled Antonio's bandage. "Thank you very much for stopping by. I'm so happy to see you, Lina." Antonio grinned, placing his hand over hers. "It must be so hard for you…"

Lovina stopped, her eyes meeting Antonio's for a brief second, faltering under his intense stare. She cleared her throat awkwardly, shooing his hand off and resuming her un-bandaging. "It's fine." She said sharply, tossing the dirty bandage aside and absently tracing the lines of a deep scar that cleaved its way down Antonio's arm. "I'm fine, Feli's fine—well, aside from that goddamn potato bastard still abusing her all the time." She fumed, still gingerly stroking her fingers along Antonio's arm.

"It's my people I'm worried about." She spoke softly, her gaze softening as her heart clenched at the thought of them. "They've risked their lives every day for me, and what can I do for them in return? Treat their wounds and tell them everything is going to be okay? How can I promise that when I don't even know it myself?" She spoke bitterly, her hardened stare meeting Antonio's.

Antonio looked torn, taking a moment to deliberate before once again braving placing his hand over Lovina's and smiling weakly at her. "Well, if it means anything, you're very good at treating wounds." Antonio offered, nodding his head in the direction of his injured arm. "This one's about six years old now, but it's already starting to feel better now that you're taking care of it."

Lovina stared at him for a while, her cheeks tinged pink as he smiled back at her. Scowling, she snatched the medical tape from the coffee table, tearing off a strip and stretching it over his mouth. "Stop saying such weird things!" She smirked as he made muffled noises behind the thick tape. "I should've done this years ago, it's so much more peaceful without your—_woah!_ A-Antonio, let go!" Lovina protested as Antonio wrapped one arm around Lovina's waist, pulling her close to him. He held his injured arm a safe distance away from her awkward flailing, furrowing his brow as he felt her jolt when he squeezed a little. "F-fine! I'll take the tape off, just get the fuck off of me, bastard!" Antonio shrugged as he relinquished his grip on the Italian woman, leaning forward and looking at her expectantly.

Lovina huffed, smiling deviously as she tore the tape off in one painfully quick motion. She caught herself laughing a little as Antonio howled in pain, clutching her side painfully as one of her wounds throbbed in protest.

"_Linaaa_, kiss it better!" Antonio whined, green eyes pleading.

"In your dreams, pervert bastard." Lovina retorted, yanking his injured arm forward and reaching for a bottle of antiseptic. Antonio responded with fake sobbing noises. "Shut up and let me fix it or it's going to hurt even more!" She ordered, cleaning his wound mercilessly. Once she was satisfied with her work, Lovina reached for a fresh roll of bandages, taking Antonio's arm and wrapping it methodically. Her face was grave as she worked, and Antonio took quiet notice.

"_Ahh_, this feels much better than my old bandages." He sighed happily.

"Yeah, that's because the old ones were shit! You probably wrapped them yourself, didn't you?" Lovina tossed the remainder of the roll at Antonio's nose as she finished up her bandaging. "_Cristo_, you're hopeless without me around to babysit, aren't you?" Lovina scoffed, tossing her hair over her shoulder in irritation.

And that's when Antonio saw it.

The beginnings of a dark scar that stained her skin like ink from her collarbone to disappear beneath her uniform blouse, almost as if dusted with ash that smeared against her skin. Antonio brought his newly bandaged arm up to carefully brush away any stray hairs that remained over her shoulder before gently tracing the lines of her scar.

"Lovina, what's this?" he asked quietly, his eyes focused on the spot where the scar disappeared beneath her collar. Just how much further did it stretch?

Lovina cursed herself inwardly as she realized her mistake. "A fucking war wound, what's it to you, bastard?" she drew a shallow breath as Antonio's fingers dipped beneath her collar.

"You're hurt, aren't you?" he stared hard at her, unwavering as she glowered back. "Tell me the truth, Lovina."

She was quiet for several moments, stubbornly avoiding eye contact as she clenched her teeth together. She did not need this blubbering idiot worrying about her. But there was a kindness in Antonio's eyes, a genuine concern and warmth where his fingers touched her skin that reassured her that this was okay.

She exhaled deeply as she took Antonio's hand and brought his fingers to the first button of her uniform, nodding at him to continue.

"Naples." She spoke, her voice uncharacteristically composed. "You probably know they've been bombing since 1940." Lovina's eyelids fluttered shut as the cool air of Antonio's house met her skin. "This is all a result of the initial raids." Lovina guided Antonio's fingers down her arm. A series of deep, red scars stretched from Lovina's collarbone to her forearm, disfiguring skin in varying lengths and shapes, not fresh but still faintly throbbing in echoes of pain.

Antonio met her eyes as she pressed his fingers gently across bandages that encircled her abdomen, resting on the right side above her fractured ribs. "This is the worst of it." Lovina drew a weary breath. "August. Right before _l'armistizio_."

"Lovina…" Antonio said helplessly, bringing his arms around her in a weak hug. They winced at their respective wounds, Antonio hardly able to bring his injured arm past her waist and Lovina tensing and leaning to avoid damaging her ribs. His lips met her skin—soft caresses over the scars on her shoulder, and she felt a rush of warmth spread through her.

"Stay with me tonight."

Lovina felt her heart begin to race as Antonio spoke against her skin. "_Por favor_, Lovina? Just one night." He pulled away to meet her eyes, fingers soft against tender skin. "You can leave as soon as the sun comes up if you want…I know how busy you must be. But I only want to know that my Lina is safe, only just for a little while…here with me. I can keep you warm and make you breakfast, even?" Antonio cocked his head slightly in that furiously endearing way of his, and Lovina was at a loss for words.

She wasn't worried that Antonio would try to sleep with her; she had fractured ribs and he could barely move his arm. If anything, she was more afraid of his bone-crushing hugs, that warm, tight embrace that she knew Antonio would hold her in. The war had been taking its toll on South Italy for quite some time now. The armistice had not brought the peace that the country longed for, thanks to that German bastard.

Lovina wanted nothing more than to curl up in a soft bed, maybe even with Antonio's arms around her. Her stomach ached for a good meal, her wounds throbbed for somebody to dress them properly, the dull ringing in her ears reminded her of sleepless nights she spent sobbing into her pillow as she listened to the sounds of bombs blasting and people—_her_ people, screaming in the distance. Lovina wanted nothing more than to escape the nightmare of the war that would not leave her alone, if only for just one night…with Antonio, warm and comforting.

But she couldn't grant herself such a luxury. Not when her people were still suffering, not when there were children crying for their mothers and soldiers defending her to their death. She couldn't abandon them—not even for one night. She had to be with them, suffer alongside them, share their pain.

"Antonio, I can't." Lovina's voice hummed haggard and small in her own ears, and she pulled Antonio closer like a shield. "I won't leave them…it's still not over yet. I won't rest until there is peace for every one of my people." Her conviction fortified her spirit, and she knew she could hold strong for as long as her people needed her.

Antonio chuckled weakly, causing Lovina to flush a little as she became aware of how closely her nearly entirely bare skin was pressed against him. "Lovina's grown up to become somebody very brave." Antonio mused, lifting her wrist to press kisses to bruised skin. He smiled lopsidedly up at her, green eyes soft and admiring. "My heart is very sad, but I understand that this is what you want." Antonio bent to kiss her cheek softly. "It's dangerous to argue with Lovina when she won't change her mind, after all."

"D-don't talk as if you know me so well! Idiot bastard…" Lovina lifted her arms to wrap around his neck, pulling him into an abrupt kiss. Antonio blinked back at her, green eyes wide before he drew her into his lap and kissed her properly, tender and slow.

Lovina allowed herself a small smile, reveling in the simple pleasure of just being with Antonio for a little while. She got over it when he tried to slide off the other half of her uniform blouse by whacking him in the head but making no move to get away from him.

She jumped and clutched her chest when a loud knocking came at the door, berating herself inwardly for feeling like a teenager who'd just been caught. "_Signora_ Vargas! Your two hours are up. If you do not respond, we will not hesitate to—"

"_B-basta!_ I'm all right, I'll be out in five minutes!" She called back, sighing in relief when she heard footsteps die away.

Antonio nodded, looking thoughtful. "Mmhmm…yes! I think you're in good hands." Antonio smiled warmly at her, threading his hand through her hair once before kissing the top of her head. He lifted her gently off of his lap and scooted away enough to pull her uniform back on, buttoning her blouse diligently.

Antonio made a small "oof!" when Lovina squeezed him in a quick hug before making her way to the door.

"Wait, Lovina!" Antonio stumbled after her, reaching for her hand. "L-let me at least give you something to bring back with you…" Antonio tapped his chin thoughtfully before leading her to the kitchen as though stricken with sudden wisdom. "Wait here." He insisted, bringing a chair into the room with difficulty; visibly wincing at his arm before disappearing into a large pantry. Lovina huffed, foregoing the chair in favor of raiding his kitchen for a proper cloth to use as a sling.

Antonio emerged from the pantry, arms overflowing with baskets of bright tomatoes and a few bags tangled around his wrist. "I want to give you…_gah!_…all of my tomatoes!" Antonio called out from behind the precariously stacked baskets, weaving his way around the kitchen. Lovina rolled her eyes and guided him towards the counter. They filled the bags to the brim with tomatoes and Lovina had to bite the inside of her cheek to keep from tackling Antonio and kissing him senseless in gratitude. She could not remember the last time she had seen so many tomatoes—there was surely enough here to share with the camp in Naples!

Lovina offered Antonio a genuine smile, amber eyes bright with appreciation before she pulled out the piece of cloth she planned to use as a sling for Antonio.

"Wait." Antonio said suddenly, putting a hand over hers before she got started. "I want to…"

"You want to give me one of your stupid hugs one last time, don't you, sappy bastard?" Lovina said flatly, but smiled nonetheless as he carefully wrapped his arms around her.

"_Te amo_, Lovina." Antonio spoke, his fingers stroking her back comfortingly.

Lovina was quiet for a moment, taking her time to recompose herself as she cleared her throat awkwardly. "Yeah, yeah." She managed, holding him as tightly as she could without hurting. "…_t-ti amo_, Antonio." She stuttered out.

They stayed like that for a few moments before Lovina remembered her time being up, quickly wrapping Antonio's arm in a secure sling and snatching up the bags of tomatoes as Antonio hurried after her. She opened the front door, waving to her escorts reassuringly before turning to Antonio, a pang of sadness upsetting her heart as their eyes met.

"Are you sure that you'll be all right, Lovina?" Antonio frowned upon recognizing the look in her eyes.

"That German bastard will get what's coming to him." Lovina said resolutely, smirking cheekily up at him. "Nobody fucks with _Italia Romana_."

Antonio sighed quietly, smiling weakly at her. "You'll come back to see me when it's all over?" he reached up to smooth the collar of her uniform, fingers brushing against her scar.

Lovina gritted her teeth for a moment, cursing the prickling sensation that developed behind her eyes. "Y-yeah." Lovina nodded. _As soon as I can_. She added silently.

And with one last, meaningful look, she hurried away towards the Fiat, her heart filled with renewed hope and Antonio's warmth to carry with her back home.

* * *

**Historical Notes/Translations**

_1943_ – A big year for Italy during WWII. Main points for this piece: the signing of the armistice on September 3rd between Italy and the Allies signaling the capitulation of Italy, the largest bombing raid on Naples in August, and the Four Days of Naples in late September. This fic takes place somewhere between the signing of the armistice and the Four Days.

_Guernica_ – a Basque town bombed by the German and Italian Air Forces during the Spanish Civil War.

_Bombing of Naples_ – lasting between 1940-1943 (some sources claim around 20 more bombings occurred during 1944), the series of air strikes by the Allies that claimed an estimated 20,000 lives. The most destructive of which occurred in early August of 1943, where 400 planes dropped bombs on the city for nearly two hours. Naples was the most bombed Italian city during WWII.

_Four Days of Naples_ – An uprising led by the Italian Resistance against the occupying German forces in the city lasting between the 27th to the 30th of September.

_esercito_ – Italian army

_Signore/Signora_ – "Mr." And "Ms." in business situations

_Basta!_ – Stop!


End file.
